Sunday Night's Entertainment:
-Man on Fire (Dir: Tony Scott; Cast: Denzel Washington; The Walken (that's all you really need); Dakota (insert name joke here) Fanning; Marc "I Will Be Your Hero, Baby" Anthony; 2004)
Happy family comedy (drip sarcasm, drip) about a boozing, down-on-his-luck, shady-past-going-nowhere-fast ex-Marine named Creasy (Washington) who finds himself in Mexico accepting a low-paying job as a body guard for the daughter (Fanning) of a rich family who fears she may the next victim in a rash of kidnappings taking place in Mexico City. The Walken plays the old friend who hooks Creasy up with the gig. Guess what? She gets kidnapped. Guess who's gonna get to the bottom of it in a murderous revenge-rampage? No, not me, silly. The film is two and half hours long, which is perfect if you're watching Lawrence of Arabia, not Man on Fire; it's just way too long. You'd also think in 147 minutes we'd learn a thing about Creasy's shady past, like what caused him to be a drunk, jobless, smile-less, etc. But no. The direction, look and feel of the movie is totally overstylized: way too-many unnecessary tracks, pans, zooms, jump cuts, etc. you get the feeling that if Creasy went to McDonald's to order a Big Mac, Scott would shoot it from under a glass floor looking up with the camera whizzing around or something. Certain times I felt like I was watching a too-hip for its own good jeans commercial. I rented this because I was in the mood for it and got I wanted. If you have two hours and half hours to kill, I'd recommend community service instead.